- You: "Everybody shut up." *picks up phone* "Hey mum."
- Friend1: "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- Friend2: "come back to bed"
- Friend3: *various sex noises*
- Friend4: "tell her I said hi"
- Friend5: "Aye! Pass The Weed."
- Friend 6: *blasting out curse words*
- Friend 7: "PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON"
i love it when people compliment my hair like thank you i grew it myself
When girls are off their period.
So accurate it hurts
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.
IT GOT BETTER