Jon Stewart, explaining to young people why books are awesome.
(via kelleyrenesmith)
- You: "Everybody shut up." *picks up phone* "Hey mum."
- Friend1: "HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- Friend2: "come back to bed"
- Friend3: *various sex noises*
- Friend4: "tell her I said hi"
- Friend5: "Aye! Pass The Weed."
- Friend 6: *blasting out curse words*
- Friend 7: "PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON"
What a bunch of noobs.
Illusion of boundary
(via thisismyderpylovestory)
i love it when people compliment my hair like thank you i grew it myself
(via kelleyrenesmith)
today my ap physics teacher read us cat in the hat and it was honestly the quietest my class have been the whole year
(via kelleyrenesmith)
When girls are off their period.
So accurate it hurts
So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized
Dr. Robert Evans
I looked it up
My dentist is Captain America’s dad
My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.
JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.
IT GOT BETTER
(via dafunnybee)
